Youth and the Dharma


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F.R.I.E.N.D.S - A Buddhist Perspective
by Venerable Thubten Chodron©
Tai Pei Buddhist Centre

24 Nov 2003
Organized by Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery

Part 1 of 2 [18 min] : Download

Part 2 of 2 [11 min] : Download

Questions and Answers:

Part 1 of 2 [24 min] : Download

Part 2 of 2 [21 min] : Download

Questions asked:

  • I suppose when you decided to ordain, there might be much strong criticism and opposition to your decision, probably even from your immediate family members and loved ones. Could you share your experiences and lessons learnt on how you overcame those difficulties? For example, how you were able to get them to understand your situation, your higher noble aspirations, or give your advice to us on how to better respond to similar situations.
  • If you ignore what others say, are you missing out on a chance to change to a better person? What if you really have a bad quality?
  • What about superiors or bosses especially when they are giving evaluations?
  • I always want to be in the centre of attention or in charge. How can I change this?"
  • Speaking of kind hearts, there are a few questions here that seek Venerable's advice on how to deal with a few categories of difficult friends. These categories are:
    - Friends who have betrayed me
    - Friends who make me feel lousy
    - Friends who constantly tell white lies to me
    - Friends who are authoritative.
    - Friends who are clingy or possessive?
  • Is having friends being attached? My best friend passed away and I miss her dearly. Much as I try, I still slide and feel miserable. And Buddhism tells us not to be attached.
  • Question on the Noble Silence- if we talk too much or if we talk about nothing that really matters, it's vain talk. But how do we avoid vain talk and still communicate? How do we maintain Noble Silence?
  • People who speak the truth often end up not having friends.
  • Is there any difference between friends and family? Why? What for? Why can't my family behave like my friends and vice versa?
  • I have a question on money and friendship. It's often been said that if you lend money to a friend or if a friend needs you because of money, it's a sure way of losing a friend. This thing about money and friendship. Do you have any comments?
  • I am only 24 and I just got married. But my friends, who are staunch Buddhists, try to avoid me. I know they don't wish to get married, but why can't they continue to be my friends?


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